Bobby

She walked into the classroom and every eye, including mine, watched as she took her seat. She strolled in with swagger, adorned with excessively large neon headphones and her head bobbing to the beat. There was no need to imagine what made her move; we could hear it blaring right from those snowballs. This interesting and quite beautiful girl finally took her seat and immediately pulled off her headphones and pulled out her books, ready to start. I noticed she was an artist as well; she had drawn an intricate pattern all over her hand. Not the usual BYU art but it caught my eye. Class went on as normal and I continued to watch this interesting girl. The bell rang and I jumped out of my seat, hoping to squeeze a word in before the headphones took their place. There was something about her and I needed to say something. I walked over to her and said “Those are some nice tunes you have.” She looked at my questioningly but finally responded and said, “Yeah I love music, couldn’t live without it.” “That’s awesome; my name is Greg, what is yours?” I added. She replied a quick “Bobby” with a smile. She continued the conversation but not with enthusiasm. It seemed like she wasn’t into the small talk or really cared what my major was or which ward I was in. But she wasn’t rude, just different. Well, we parted ways and I was looking forward to the next time that I would have the pleasure of bumping into her again.

It was a week later and there she was again, swaying to the music, walking through campus. I decided, what the heck, I should just ask her out. I wanted to get to know her more. I finally got her attention, while most likely making a fool of myself at the same time. We started talking and I got the gumption to ask her to go get some ice cream on my scooter later that week. She actually laughed at me and said no. She doesn’t go on dates. That was weird. Dating was something that we just did. You found a girl interesting and you asked her on a date. However, she did invite me to go paintballing with her that weekend. I guess that it won’t be a date, which she made so apparent, but hey, I was going to get time with her.

Saturday rolls around and yes, time for paintballing! I have never actually gone paintballing before and I am surprised that a girl would want to, well except maybe not Bobby. So after she annihilated me on the course, we got to talking. We happened to start talking about BYU and the environment there. She was saying how she actually loved it. She grew up in a town where she and her brothers were the only Latter Day Saints at her high school. I was now wondering how different Provo must feel to her. I couldn’t help it, but I asked her why she was opposed to dating. Then she said frankly, “I don’t want to get married…..yet. I am here to get a career. I need to be able to support myself and I want to feel like I accomplished something for myself before I focus on starting a family”. I could see what her point was; I had simply never heard this view before. I had met a few girls that came to school solely to get married. It was something that if you left BYU single, something wasn’t quite right. But not Bobby. She knew what she wanted and was going to stick to it. It made me think however, why wouldn’t she want to get married and feel the happiness that can come from it? Guess she had a different plan. We were just about to leave and then she adds, “You know, plus if I get married soon, then I won’t even have the option to go on a mission, and I want to be able to have that choice.” I had started to think that she maybe wasn’t like all the Mormon girls I had usually been around and there she goes, making my head turn again, a mission?! “That’s awesome!” I replied. I then told her about my mission to Kentucky; it was more of a foreign mission that people could possibly realize. Bobby never ceased to surprise me.

I had noticed something about her. The ways in which she interacted with people and also the way she looked. She wasn’t into the superficial talking, the joking around and flirting. If Bobby was going to talk to you, she wanted to have a real conversation. Bobby dressed, you could say, out of style. There was no trace of the latest “must haves” advertised in magazines and TV, such as the Toms shoes or trendy v necks or colorful jeans. Her style included faded jeans and a t-shirt. It made an impression on me and just seemed to fit her perfectly.

Next class period, Bobby shows up with the neon headphones and looking like she just rolled out of bed. I started talking to her and asked if she overslept this morning. She laughed that adorable laugh and just said, “No, I just didn’t want to get dressed this morning. Why do girls have to always look their best huh? It is hard work I’d like you to know.” I didn’t know what to say. Except that I agreed, I wouldn’t want to be her. However, over time I could start seeing the people around Bobby looking at her differently. Looking at her sweats, lack of makeup or any jewelry and her care free attitude and then think that she didn’t care about anything or anyone. Bobby also would never participate in the “cheesy” games of family home evening or things like that. She just wasn’t into it.

It wasn’t until one Sunday that we were all silenced. It was fast and testimony meeting. The hour was almost up and it had been a very enlightening and good meeting. Just before the bishop is about to stand up, Bobby approaches the stand. She walks up in her simple and cute dress, looking humble as ever. Then she says hello. Her testimony moved me to tears. I, of course, didn’t let anyone see but I couldn’t help it. It was like she was, so simple, straight forward and just out there for everyone to see. She loved her church and wanted to be happy and make others happy as well. Finally Bobby made sense. She never meant to offend anyone by not dressing “properly” or by drawing fake tattoos, not participating in family home evening or anything and everything else that she did. She just didn’t apply herself to the social norms of where she was. She was Bobby and wasn’t going to change that for anything or anybody. I admired her. She had courage, more than I had. The year came to a close and she still hadn’t been on a date but she had a load of friends, including me.

I have stayed in contact with Ms. Bobby over the years and she is doing amazingly well. She is running her own business and is always jamming out whenever she is in the office. She still isn’t married but has started looking. I wish her the best of luck and can only hope that she finds someone that can understand and get her for who she truly is.